Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
