Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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