walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
