You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
