When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it glows. i had to have it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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