WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
