carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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