This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
