so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
