my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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