I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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