I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
