You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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