THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
