My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
