How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
