Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
