i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
