Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
