I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
