College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
