They should really pass out barf bags in church
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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