He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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