i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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