You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
