so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
