I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
