i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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