naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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