I cut my penus on the lid.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My ass is underappreciated
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
