She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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