South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
