I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
