i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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