Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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