nut hugger
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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