You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
