last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
