Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize