You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize