My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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