I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
