We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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