$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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