Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Soap is not a condiment
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
