I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
