Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
