Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
