I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
