Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
