dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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