That's intense
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
