How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just high enough for therapy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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