She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
