I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
