Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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