Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
