Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
