In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
