If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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