my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
